


Was there any other conclusion?

by malcolm_fucking_tucker



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M, Humor, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:21:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malcolm_fucking_tucker/pseuds/malcolm_fucking_tucker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctor and Clara on the beach. Sorry, I couldn't resist. I just adore these two idiots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was there any other conclusion?

-“Come to the towel with me.”

 

-“No.”

 

-“And take your clothes off; you’ll die of heat exhaustion. Or worse- regenerate.”

 

-“I’m a Time Lord, Clara. I’m not susceptible to heat, or indeed cold.”- Doctor says ogling a deep shade under a very lush palm-tree. –“I’ll just be there, shall I,”- he says pointing,-“…reading.”

*********

_“Space is big. You won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is…_ ”- Doctor read and a smile grew on his face. He flipped through the pages of his book, sitting under the palm tree; resting his back on it. 

_“If there is anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”_ … Well doesn’t that remind me of a certain someone? - he thought rushing through the pages once again.

_“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”_

 

-“Doctor?”- he heard a voice from above. He looked up.

 

-“Oh, for goodness sake Clara. Why are you naked?”- he asks placing the opened book upside down on his stomach. She was in fact wearing a single piece swim-suit that looked rather amazing, but no; he won’t admit that.

 

-“I’m not. I’m wearing a swim-suit.

 

-“You’re wearing a piece of dangling cloth that barely covers 13.2% percent of your body. I would say you were inappropriately dressed young lady.”

 

-“I’m on a beach. About to go into the sea.”- Clara punctuates, and Doctor lowers his book even further down.

 

-“That changes nothing. Go and put some clothes on”

 

-“No. You take yours off.”

 

-“Why would I do that? I’m perfectly comfortable in them, thank you.”- Doctor inwardly curses a traitorous grain of sweat on his brow.

 

-“Fine. I’ll just go swim by myself, shall I?”

 

-“Yes, do.”

******* 

Clara dives into the ocean just in the moment the Doctor lifts up his thoughtful eyes off the book. She eventually surfaces again. Her back turned; with water falling down along her soft curves. Her hair dangling freely over her lush breasts, and droplets of clear sea-water reflected under the soaring Sun’s beams over her illustrious back-side.  
_Oh no…_ -Doctor places both hands on the book- he yet again lowered, and pushed cautiously down.

 

_-Right, here’s the deal_ \- he directed at his “problem”. _-You go out of your “emergency mode”, and we’ll get to some arrangement later-ok?_

 

_-Twitch-_

 

_-Listen here you sneaky…You do this for me, and tonight I’ll read you a nice bed-time story, how’s that?_

 

_-What do you mean you don’t like stories? Everybody like stor...-_

 

-”Clara!”- he yelled suddenly noticing a small round beautifully curved body standing in front of him, yet again. -”You’re still naked I see.”

 

-“Shocking, I know.”- Clara responds, draining her hair and deliberately spraying some water on his pants and freshly polished and shinned-up shoes.-“What are you reading?”- she asks ogling the opened and suspiciously placed book on his delicate body-area.

 

-“A book, Clara.”

 

-“Which one? Let me see.”- she says reaching for it.

 

-“No! I mean…it’s a secret book.”- he says holding it safely in its designated location.-“I was going to give it to you as a present. I’m just checking if it’s appropriate.” But Clara was not born yesterday.

 

-“Do we have a problem down there?”- Clara flashed her eyes teasingly.

 

-“Don’t flatter yourself.”

 

-“So you’re just reading?”

 

-“That’s exactly what I was doing, yes.”

 

-“Fine. I’m getting some ice-cream; you want some?”

 

-“Sure.”

*********

Clara returns from the TARDIS kitchen; joggling two cups of ice-cream that were already leaking over the sides.

 

-“Clara! You’re back so soon…”- Doctor was unusually red in the face.

 

-“Here, take this before it melts, quickly!”

 

-“I don’t want one.”- Doctor responds; grasping the book with both his hands even tighter. Yes, you did guess where it is.

 

-“You said you did.”

 

-“I did no such thing.”

 

-“Why do you always feel the need to contradict me?”

 

-“I do not… Fine, I’ll take the stupid frozen sugar. Happy now?”- he says holding the dripping cup with two fingers.

 

-“I’m not unhappy.”

 

-”Great. No go and put some clothes on before we both get arrested.”

 

-“We’re on a deserted island. Who’s going to arrest us?”- Clara smirked walking away with her ice-cream.

********

Doctor finally manages to get his “problem” under control when Clara surprises him yet again with:

-“Let’s go for a swim.”

 

-“No.”

 

-“Please?”

 

-“No…Why are you wearing even less clothes than before?”- Doctor asks covering his face in disapproval of her dress code that was now consisting of a black, laced, two-part swim-wear.

 

-“Because I’m hot; on a beach and I look got in it…I see you shed some layers yourself.”- she said noticing that the Doctor was now sitting in his shirt and trousers; still unwilling to admit he’s freaking-boiling.

 

-“I just though, if we’re going to get arrested, I might as well deserve it.”  
**************** 

-“There! Did I not say this was gonna happen Clara! Why does no one ever listen to me?”- Doctor yelled while being dragged by the local police-force.

 

-“You said this island was deserted!”-Clara yelled right back at him from the clasp of two men who were handling her while keeping their eyes closed.

 

-“No, you said that. I said- _how about a nice picnic Clara. Maybe some sight-seeing?_ \- But no, you had to insist on a beach.”

 

-“What’s the big deal with these people anyway? What am I supposed to do- go around in a wedding dress?”

 

-“They are a very religious species, Clara. They pretty much condone any part of exposed skin, it not being face or palms. How could they possibly overlook your obvious “natural deficiency in courtesy-fiber”?”

 

-“Then why are they arresting you?”- Clara looked at the frowning Time Lord who was indeed still dressed in long sleeve shirt and pants; shoes too.

 

-“I was inappropriate in a different respect.”- he whispers while being violently chained to a pole next to his companion.

 

-“I knew it!”

 

-“Don’t gloat Clara.”

*********

-“How long are they going to keep us here?”- Clara said funereally looking at the Doctor. They have been standing on the scorching Sun for hours; in view of the passers-by, who would usually gasp in horror and cover their mouths in utter shock while hurrying past them on the square.

 

-“No idea. Until we learn our lesson?”

 

-“I learned a lesson. Not to agree to come to a conservative planet’s beach in the middle of the Summer! What did you learn?”- she asks sarcastically.

 

-“Oh…a lot of things.”- Doctor responded closing his eyes in despair of the burning Sun and their ever so falling prospects.

 

-“And don’t even think about asking for the vibro-cutters.”- she adds.

 

-“Why? Don’t you have them stashed somewhere in that swim-suit of yours?”- Doctor responded through his teeth, but was rather rudely interrupted by the guards who took upon unchaining him. After a brief talk with them on the side, he returned to the still chained-up and slightly annoyed Clara.

 

-“So. Why did they let you go?”

 

-“They concluded that me being in your proximity is punishment enough.”

 

-“Well that’s rich.”

 

-“Can you blame them?”

******** 

After Doctor applied his amazing powers of persuasion on their captors (translation: he begged and bribed, as to convince them of his and Clara’s future’s impeccable and distinguished behavior) - they were released. 

 

Back at the beach, Doctor finally decided to join Clara on the golden sand. He was still hot mind you; but from a different point of view.

 

-“Let’s give them a proper reason to arrest us this time.”- Doctor sais approaching Clara from the back with a feral look on his face.-“No more teasing.”

She smiled.

*******

The Sun was shining so high in the alien sky, and the sea water was making such calming noises. The waves were moving in harmony, creating hums that could almost muffle the growling sounds coming from the beach.

 

Slowly the waves reached the shore; tingling their tangled bodies, and threatening to wash away the “piece of cloth” forever.

 

Another wave tried to create enough soothing sounds to overpower the ferocious gasp Clara was making at the moment. It failed.

 

Her clutched hand clawed on the grains of the golden sand, leaving a gaping hole that sea water calmly filled up mere second later; as if nothing happened.

 

The Sun gently reflects from the sweat on Doctor’s back and punctuates his muscles as they tighten from his animalistic thrusting and bending.

 

A bird flies over the scene, not looking down on the two sprawled bodies fighting for dominance; it has better things to do you know.

 

The wind rushes through the previously mentioned palm-tree. Its leaves whistling soundly in tandem with the climactic dual screaming.

 

Footsteps approaching with clinging chains. _Back to the pole with you two_ –was never said but certainly implied.

 

_Worth it_ \- the looks on Doctor’s and Clara’s faces expressed; as the owners of the footsteps untangled their exhausted bodies and dragged them away.

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Th quotes used were from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy by Douglas Adams.


End file.
